The post I was working on just won’t come out right. I’m going to let that one marinate for a bit. Here is the other thing I have been thinking about.
I expected the things I loved (and didn’t) to be the same after I had lots of free time. Surprise! Work had an even bigger effect on my likes and dislikes than I thought.
Surprise #1 – I used to love lounging in bed. I would do it every chance I got- which wasn’t very often. My husband (bless him) would sometimes bring me a cup of coffee and I’d read, or just lay there and think. And for the first month or so after I stopped working full time I did it A LOT. Then I just sort of stopped. This morning my next door neighbor and dear friend E spotted me leaving my driveway at 6:45. She called me immediately. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Going to the gym” I answered. Complete silence on the other end. “Ummmm, why?”
6 months ago I had NEVER been to the gym that early- I never even wanted to. It turns out that I like working out in the morning, and I love the gym when its nearly empty. My usual time to go before semi- retirement was 4:30 pm, and it was ALWAYS jammed. Last week I went to the gym mid afternoon and it was packed. I turned around and left. In addition to virus concerns, I just don’t like bunches of people in the gym. I have time, I’ll just come back later.
Even on days that I don’t have anything to do in the morning, I get out of bed. I have coffee with my husband instead of in bed by myself. I go to bed earlier too. I have no idea why I don’t want to laze in bed anymore, I just don’t. My mom swears I was a morning person when I was a kid. Could I be reverting?
Surprise #2 – For years (at least 10) I have had a standing lunch date with a girlfriend- J. She also has a stressful job and runs an office (with all the same employee issues, etc) but in a different field. It is therapy for both of us and we both look forward to it all week. We have both confessed to looking at our calendars and asking ourselves how much longer till Thursday “girl lunch”. Last week I forgot. I did not remember till I was cooking dinner that night. When we finally had lunch yesterday, J teased me about it, and she also commented how relaxed I’ve been looking lately. As always, we had a great time at lunch, and I plan on continuing our lunch dates, I just enjoy them instead of needing them as a stress outlet. I’m going to have to put them on the calendar now so I don’t forget again.
Surprise #3 – Slowing down has affected everything- even my driving! This has been a very good thing as the police chief in my town has recently grown fond of speed traps. I passed 3 police cars parked and waiting for speeders on my way to the gym this morning, and its only 7 miles away. I didn’t even have to brake- I’m not in a hurry, and I’m not speeding.
Surprise #4 – A change in plans doesn’t make me as irritable as it used to. After taking my child to the dentist yesterday, I had planned on taking him to get a haircut. He didn’t want one. I told him that was fine, but we’d be doing it early next week. He agreed- no fight. 6 months ago I couldn’t have said with any certainty that I would have had time for an extra errand next week- especially not since its the week before school starts. I’d have dragged him to the barbershop and one (or likely both of us) would have been crabby about it.
Surprise #5- I have been saying yes to things (and people) I wouldn’t have when I was working. I had so little free time when I was working that the opportunity had to be awesome for me to accept it. But now I have much more free time, so I’m less picky. A lawyer friend asked me to explain some confusing things in a client’s brokerage statements (the account was not with me). The client was accused of losing large sums of money, but for a number of reasons, the claims weren’t adding up. I just love figuring out a problem. It was fun- and I had plenty of time to do it.
I also got invited to an outing with a group of girls I like, but don’t know very well. I’m kind of socially awkward, and I was kind of hesitant about going, but it was FUN! Now that I know them better, I will feel more comfortable around them next time.
Surprise #6 – I am not as obsessed with vacation. I don’t have a single thing planned. This comes at an excellent time, because there is not much chance of us taking a vacation. Every vacation this year except a hiking trip to Utah got cancelled. My goal is 3 vacations a year (this includes camping trips etc). It wasn’t so important where we went, only that we were able to get AWAY. Now, its okay if we don’t. I like planning vacations, but I’m not nearly as frustrated with the “no travel” situation as I thought I would be.
Conversely, I still have a need to be alone, and I wasn’t aware that work served that purpose sometimes. This has been the longest summer of my life and I’ve had a little too much “family time”. In short, my kids are driving me crazy, and my garden is not far enough away. I am fortunate that I am in a position that I can close the door to my office and ask not to be disturbed for an hour or two. I also find myself sneaking off to “the Camp” mid-week.
David from iretiredyoung.net asked for a post about the camp. That one is coming up next- unless I can get that other post to work… Stay tuned.
I loved going to the gym early. The interesting thing is you’d always get a clutch of people going early in January/February, but by March they had usually thinned out considerably. I remember this pattern repeated for years – for most of the year it was me and one other nutter when they opened up in the morning. I always loved having the gym mostly to myself, although I realize some people love it when it’s packed! Pre-corona I was at a 24-hr gym which was even better! 🙂
Hilariously that was me 18 months ago. I could hear some guys in the gym betting on the likelihood of me being there in March- especially after a rough workout. I am at at 24 hour gym, so if I’m awake, they’re open!
Wait, wait, wait, you really don’t want to lounge in bed anymore? I can’t see that ever happening for me. I love to go to sleep late and spend a ridiculously long amount of time lounging in bed before I wake. It’s my favorite thing about the summer time, no where to go and no specific time to be there. What do you think made this change for you?
I’m not sure. I thought it was because before I began retirement I hardly ever had the opportunity- so it was a rare luxury. I mentioned it to a girlfriend though, and she came up with a much less flattering explanation. “So you’re like the kid who has to be dragged out of bed on schooldays, but gets himself up and dressed at 5 am on Saturday to go fishing.” she said. Hmm. That might be it too.
Before I retired, my schedule was no fun at all. It usually went something like this- wake up, get the kids up, make breakfast, clean up breakfast, dress, drive them to school, drive me to work, errands on lunch break, workout at gym, fix dinner, other chores, homework or kid activities, clean kitchen, collapse into bed. Repeat tomorrow. No fun at all. Could I be getting out of bed because I have things I look forward to doing during the day? Yep.
These are very inspiring surprises, especially surprise 5, say yes. I have very little time now and I am looking forward to the time when I can be free.
I highly recommend it!