I’ve adjusted back to pre- camino life- well sort of. I’m refusing to slide back into the “busy” that American life has become. It probably isn’t possible to live like you do on the Camino while at the same time living in America with a family. I’m trying to make what changes I can to keep a little of the peace around.
It occurred to me on the Camino that I spend a lot of time doing things I really don’t want to do, because everyone else does them. I’ve decided to start asking myself if they really need to be done at all. For example, I decorate my house for the holidays. It really looks beautiful. My house is in the woods though, and people only drive by the outside if they’re coming to see us. Do I really need all those boxes of decorations? I think less might be more. I also hate sending Christmas cards. I send Christmas cards even to people who live in my town, because they send me one. I do not get caught up in the whole “perfect” card nonsense where your whole family has to be posed in matching pajamas in front of the Christmas tree, but still, it’s a lot of work, for people I’m probably going to wish a “Merry Christmas” in person anyway… Maybe this year I’ll just send them to people we won’t be seeing for the holidays. Or I’ll skip sending them altogether.
I haven’t made much progress on paring down my things, but I’m still thinking hard about it. I needed a new can opener, and while I was out running errands I stopped at a popular housewares store to get one. It was an uncomfortable shopping trip. Every square inch of the store was crammed with stuff I didn’t need. It was a little anxiety inducing. It was all beautiful though, and stuff that once upon a time I’d be tempted to buy. I came home with only the can opener. I did buy two new pairs of jeans while I was shopping, though, since I haven’t gained the weight back that I lost on the trip, and I didn’t have anything to wear! The closet is next. Its going to rain all week so I can’t say I have no time this week.
I’m making it a point to go outside every day. That was something I loved about the Camino- humans are meant to be outside in nature and in the sun. It makes us feel good. Its easy, in our modern lives and comfortable houses, to stay inside for all or most of the day, but I’m no longer going to do that. I have slacked off on my exercise routine though- I took several days off to recover, and never re-started. I need to get that going again.
I’m beginning to miss all of the wonderful conversations I had on the Camino, so I made a point of catching up with friends on Thursday. I had coffee with one friend, lunch with another, and between that, I dropped by and visited with two more. Relationships give meaning to your life, and they are so important to how you feel! I think I have neglected them a bit it retirement, but I’m going to make more of an effort.
On the Camino, you do something definable every day. You have walked 15 miles (or whatever) closer to Santiago. In modern life, its possible to be busy all day and not have that feeling that you accomplished something. Today I have to call the insurance company, do laundry, make dinner, and go to the grocery store. After I have done those chores, I will have no feeling of accomplishment because they are never ending tasks that will need to be done tomorrow too. I have also been including tasks on my to do list that show visible progress- so I can see what I have done at the end of the day. My list for today includes making a batch of soap and finish up a knitting project.
Speaking of knitting, I had set it aside for a month or two before my trip and I missed the Zen of it. Something about the repetitive process of knitting is incredibly relaxing- and its fun to see your project materialize out of a ball of yarn. If you put a stitch marker where you started, you can see how many inches you’ve added while you’ve worked.
I have restricted my phone apps, and I’m now using my phone less than half of what I used to. I have silenced tons of unimportant notifications, and I don’t know why I haven’t done that before now. Notifications just make me pick up my phone, and then, while its in my hand, I check the weather, and Facebook, and then so much time is wasted! I have also cut out the scrolling on social media apps to nearly nothing. Social media apps are designed so that you keep looking at them. I have forgotten what I was doing and spent an hour sometimes, looking at things I didn’t even care about. An hour later, I don’t even remember what I read. The apps are designed to keep you entranced in your feed. Now that I have timers set up on the apps, it reminds me to stop. The upside/downside of that is that I have missed a lot of phone calls and texts because my phone is now so uninteresting that I forget to take it with me.
I’m still not listening to the radio in my car, and I find even running errands much more relaxing. Its even saved me the cost of replacing my car- for now anyway. I like my car for the most part (Its a Subaru Outback) though it has nearly 100,000 miles on it. The technology on that car is annoying, though. The car beeps to alert you for everything. It beeps so often that it either drives me crazy or I tune it out and ignore all of the beeps- even the important ones. It beeps every time you get close to the edge of the road. It also beeps if a car is in your blind spot, if there is an object in the way when you’re backing up, if your seat belt is not on even if you aren’t moving, and all sorts of other things. Some of them I like, and some of them I wish I could turn off. I have never liked the infotainment system in the car, and it has recently gone haywire. The dealership confirms that it is definitely broken and the cost to replace will be $1200. Nope. Not doing it. Since I’m leaving the radio off lately, that issue is much less annoying. I’ll get a new one eventually, but its not on my priority list.
I read a study recently about happiness. It basically said that when your mind is focused on doing the task at hand, you are happy. If you are worrying about the future, or thinking about things you regret in the past, you are not happy. I think this is true, and I think the Camino was very good for training me (and perhaps everyone?) on this. It was difficult to NOT be focused on where you were, while walking the Camino. A young lady I volunteer with asked me if I did any walking meditation while I was on the Camino. I started laughing- with a 500 mile walk, you will be doing walking meditation at some point whether you meant to or not! I do feel like I am somehow more “present” in my life than I was before I left. And happier too.
I’ve said before that I see many parallels in what you write and my own early retired life. I put your current post under the topic of mindfulness (I don’t know if this is correct), and being more mindful, thoughtful and conscientious are unexpected benefits of my new life. When I worked, I guess my mind must have been subconsciously full of work stuff which left less room for other things – that’s fine, work was important but, looking back, I wish I could have been a little more mindful back then too.
In our house, Sally loves decorating for Christmas (we often endearingly think that our Americans friends do thing plus-sized, so I suspect Sally’s decorations are a mere fraction of what you do🤣), and I do use Christmas cards as a way of keeping in touch with people I don’t see often. In the car (which I don’t use that much), I try to listen to French radio…I think that random bells, alarms and alerts might be more comprehensible!🤣🤣
I’m glad that your Camino adventure has been so impactful.
I would put it under the topic of mindfulness, though I wouldn’t have believed that’s what I would get out of the Camino before I did it. I suspect you’re right about my decorations being a fraction of what Sally does. When I get everything down from the attic I’ll report on the number of boxes or send you a picture. Everything I don’t put up is going to Goodwill. Tell Sally I’ll be thinking about her as I decorate this year 🤣.